“people move on”

By Melody Copenny

people move on and leave no obligation, no need, no want to mend with you what you have made broken.

people move on and get on with their lives, their living, their relationships, their hopes and their dreams, while you sit and wonder and reflect on the unseen, the undone the unintentional ways you neglected, missed, hurt, and devalued the love they gave and wanted to give to you.

how do you fall out of love?

how do you fall out of like?

how do you fall out of a friend?

how do you find the way to mend?

one day you awaken from your haze, from the fog of new relationships, new friends, new living that has captured your heart, soul and mind, pulled you away in a blur of excitement and sheer joy for the newness, but also made you forget about the oldness, the familar, the ones who’ve made you who you are, shaped your heart, quieted your soul, spoke truth into your mistakes, loved you when you were quite unlovable at times and you REMEMBER.

you remember the friend you forgot to be.

you remember the missed birthdays and holidays that were empty and the memories you didn’t get to see.

you remember you didn’t love, you didn’t give, you didn’t listen, you didn’t hear, you didn’t invest, you didn’t reveal.

was it on purpose that you forgot to be there?

no.
it wasn’t.

you weren’t malicious in your mistakes, but you were neglectful. you didn’t know how to be the friend they needed and the woman you were becoming at the same time. you didn’t know how to balance it all. so you packed one piece of your life into that box, and this piece of your life into another box and thought the two didn’t need to collide. but they did and they do because the best of both of those worlds have now made you into the person you were always destined to be.

and He knew that, He always knew that and He’s been using people and this uncanny, uncontrollable, at times unimaginable organism called relationship to be the primary tool in shaping your character, your living, your heart, your soul.

and now you understand it all. time and maturity have become incredible teachers.

but it’s too late.

and life simply moved on.
without you.
their life simply moved on.
you missed it.
you missed them.
you missed him.

you see the train of their life moving forward, past your stop, a stop that the train used to make frequent pauses at, but now steadily moves on, as if your stop no longer exists.

you run to the train gate, with arms out, hands waving madly, feverishly, hoping to get a glance of the friend who has moved on, hoping they will see you from the train’s cabin, see the tears in your eyes that are running down your stained face, and look upon you with grace and slow the train of their life with forgiveness and permit you board on their train and you go to them and you sit and you look into each other’s faces and you say ‘i’m here, i’m finally here’ and they say, ‘i know, i’ve missed you a great deal,’ and you say, ‘i’m so sorry, i just forgot to be there, forgot to be there’ and they say, ‘i know, i know, but i forgive you’ and you say, ‘thank you for the grace and for not giving up on me and closing me out of your life for good,’ and they say, ‘i wanted to, i wanted to so many times and came very close to it, but He kept reminding me of the grace i live in because of Him, a grace that must be duplicated time and time again because He gives it time and time again to me’ and you smile because you know that grace all too well and you remember the point of it all, the point of this life and it being relationship with Him first and then relationship with people second and how He uses it all to make us all more like Him.

and the train moves on, but by grace, you’re now on it with your friend and no longer heartbroken to watch it and him pass you by as it goes to new stops to visit new friends and forgets you ever existed, no the train hasn’t forgotten you, you have been remembered and you are on it, on it with intention, on with maturity, on it with a love and grace that has taught you how to be the friend you are to the friends you have through the person He’s making you to be. you won’t get it right every time. but you will be present. you will be there. you will be available. you will be engaged. you will be stronger. you will be wiser. you will be patient. you will be loving. you will be hopeful. you will be a friend.

~ m

© 2010 Melody L. Copenny
All Rights Reserved.

written by m. copenny
from the forthcoming poetic compilation, “we are each other’s sticky notes” by melody l. copenny

SUNDAY, JANUARY 31, 2010

Melody is a gifted servant of God who disciples college students in Florida.  Check out her blog  Writing to Be Real

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